Wednesday, August 2, 2017

What Language Does YOUR Heart Speak?

I imagine everyone in the world knows about the "Love Languages" except for me, but I'm really glad I know about them now.

Dorine, the lady that sits with my Mom when I'm not home, asked me yesterday what "love language" I spoke.

I had NO IDEA what she was talking about.

"Didn't you read the book?" she asked.

"WHAT book?" said I.

She went on to explain about the FIVE love languages, and each person has one or maybe two of them.  I asked her what they were.  She told me.  When she left a few minutes later, I forgot.

Late last night, I remembered Dorine asking me about love languages.  I decided to google "love languages".

IMMEDIATELY, they all came up along with a test to take to see what mine were.

I really could have told you without the test, but it was fun to get a confirmation.  The knowledge this afforded me has verified WHY the comments my readers leave mean so much to me.

My 1st "love language" is Words of Affirmation.  2nd is Acts of Service.  (You can have two.)

If I had to choose between an expensive gift or a card with a love note in it from him, I would choose the love note every time.

If I had to choose between my husband buying me an expensive gift or vacuuming all the carpet, I would choose vacuuming.  On Mother's Day he always gives me the gift of HIM, and I totally love that.  He is all mine for one whole day.  What do I want from him?  I want him to HELP me or do things for me.  I never want a gift.

He just asked me today what I want for my birthday.  I told him, "Nothing, I want you!"  

Of course, my 1st love language is Words of Affirmation.  I've told my best friends about this,  but I don't think I've ever told you.  Many years ago -- probably 25 or 30 years ago -- Jerry said something to me that has lasted me all these years, and I will NEVER forget it, and nothing he ever says again can top it. 

As I recall, we were alone on the couch in our living room.  No TV.  It was late.  We were just sitting there next to each other talking and sharing.  Out of the blue, he took my hands into his and looked into my eyes, and he said:

"If I could have gone to Heaven and talked directly to God and told him EXACTLY what I wanted in a wife -- what color eyes -- what color hair -- what shape and size -- what personality -- it would have been everything YOU are."

So did he ever hit my love language right in the bulls eye!

I'm pretty sure Words of Affirmation are his love language too, and I'm careful to brag on him whenever I get a chance.  But it makes sense that I can give it to others if it is my language.

So what is YOUR love language.  Here is a link if you don't already know:


My birthday is Friday, and I am so thrilled that my daughter is fulfilling my 2nd love language "Acts of Service".  She is driving all the way -- 2 1/2 hours -- to my house to prepare me a dinner she knows I love.  Just her coming here is all the gift I need, but she says she is bringing gifts.  I have decided -- being her Mother and knowing her very well -- that her love language is receiving gifts. She is a MAJOR gift-giver.  She bought her family so many gifts one year for Christmas, they got tired of opening them.  She said, "I think I overdid it Mom."

She already fulfilled my 1st love language when she said, "Mom, you tell me what you want done for your birthday, and I will make it happen."

I better go.  I'll be back soon to see what you all found out about YOUR love language.  Your "love language" is what YOU need from others in order to feel loved. 

Hugs, Joy

Thursday, July 20, 2017

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DI, Meet Button, Update on Mom

Today is my friend Di's birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY DI!

I can now show you what I made using that calendar since Di has received her gift  I am still amazed at the quality of the print.
When I finished this tiny quilt, I took it downstairs to my husband's office to show it to him.  You will NEVER dream what he said to me when he was looking at it.

I was expecting:  "That is nice." or "How creative to use a calendar." or "Di will like it a lot." or ANYTHING but what he said.

He looked at it closely and he didn't say anything!  Then I asked him what he thought.

He said, "I don't GET the bus."

MEN!

I don't seem to get around to blogging much these days because it is so much easier to just talk to my friends via the VLOGs, but I HAVE to show you little Button as I promised.

Just in case you haven't seen my latest VLOGs, here they are:



I told you I like making the VLOGs!

If you aren't bored stiff or sound asleep after all those videos, I'll show you our little Button now.

This picture was taken the day we found him in our hot storage room at the store.   I wore a long skirt that day, and Button decided it was a good hiding place.
We brought him home to live in a large dog cage in our kitchen, and when he wasn't in it, he was hiding in this corner.
My grandson, John, came to visit for a few hours, and he really LOVES cats.  My daughter loves them, so all her kids love them.
Button has grown a lot already, and he has been moved to the back patio during the day and the garage at night.

I can only stand a cat box in the house in extreme emergencies!
Tomorrow, my new friend and neighbor, Kathy, is coming over.  I found out she loves coffee as much as I do, so I had Jerry bring home two flavors of Bundt cakes tonight so we can have a little party. Terry is out of town or she would be coming too, although Terry is on a major diet.  She doesn't eat anything but veggies and fruit.  Last I saw her, she had lost over ten pounds.  I haven't seen her for over a week, so she may be so thin I won't even recognize her!  I thought I should probably get back on my eternal diet of Herbalife, but it won't be until after tomorrow.  I did tell you I have a Lemon Bundt cake and a Strawberry Bundt cake, didn't I?  I promise I will have just one -- maybe two -- pieces, and then straight to the freezer they both go!  Then it is back to carrot sticks and celery sticks for me.

Mom is doing fine.  I changed Hospice companies this week, and the nicest people are coming to visit her.  Everyone immediately loves her.  It makes me so happy to see her loved and properly cared for.  I really liked the two Aides that came from the other company, but I didn't like the "lady in charge" (don't know her title).  Every time I called about something, she acted like I was a royal PITA.  She told me once that the Aides had to give my Mom a bath and wash her hair, but they didn't have to DRY her hair.

WHAT!!!!? 

I knew that was insane so I asked for the owner/manager's name and number.  She rudely gave it to me.  Before I called the manager, however, the "lady in charge" called me back and informed me that they actually COULD dry her hair and wanted to know if there was anything else I would like done. That was just one instance.  There were several others.

The craziest thing happened this afternoon with my Mom. 

I print out month calendars for my Mom so she can write on them.  She was a prolific writer in her past, and all she can do now is put names and notes in a square on a calendar.  She struggles greatly with just that.  She misspells something or it is messy, and she wants it fixed.  I understand that as I am the same way.  She kept asking us for correction fluid.  We don't have correction FLUID.  We have correction TAPE because that is what is made these days.

Jerry or I have gone into her room with the correction tape in hand to help her fix her calendar.  Now that she knows the stuff is in the house, she is always asking for it.  She came upstairs this afternoon and told me she had an EMERGENCY, and she just HAD TO HAVE some correction fluid. 

I told her that I would come help her in a few minutes.

NOOOOOO!  She needed it right that minute!

I grabbed the last roll of the stuff we had in the house, and I followed her to her room.  I looked at her calendar where she marks her BM's (because the Aide always asks her about them) and she writes down the names of whatever ladies are coming that day to see her.

She told me last week that she was writing all of that down because it was very important and I would need it when she dies.   )-:

I asked her what she wanted marked off.  She INSISTED that I let her do it.  I told her it was hard to do.  She said she could learn.  I showed her on another piece of paper how the contraption worked, and I handed it to her.  She TRIED to mark something out, but it didn't work.  She tried again, and it sort of worked.  She asked me if she could PLEASE just keep it so she could correct her mistakes.  I felt sorry for her and just let her keep it.

Later on, I was in the kitchen preparing supper.  I had left Mom in her room with her calendar and the correction tape an hour earlier.  She said she wanted to watch TBN, which she always does.  She suddenly appeared behind me in the kitchen.  She always "suddenly appears" because she wears slippers all the time, and I never hear her coming. 

She said, "Jooooooooooooooy, I need your help!"

I turned around to look and oh, how I wish I could have snapped a picture.

She was holding the correction tape container in her hand, and the tape was hanging all over the place OUTSIDE the container.  She had it on her face and on her hands.  Like you had pulled the tape out of a cassette.  It was so funny!  I took it all away from her and threw it in the trash can.  She had a fit!  She said she could FIX IT.  I tried to explain that it was torn apart and broken and it would not go back into the little container.  She was mad at me.  I told her I would go upstairs to see if I could find another one.  When I got back down, she had dug through the kitchen garbage and pulled that thing out with its messed up sticky tape hanging down to the ground!  She insisted she was going to fix it.

UGH!

Sometimes, it is really hard to stay patient with her!  I decided that ONE OF US was going to have to take a Xanax.  I decided it would be HER since it is her prescription, lol, and I poured a glass of wine for myself.  I can't even remember last time I had to give her a Xanax.  It has been months.  PRAISE GOD for that!  Truly, He has provided for us in the MOST REMARKABLE WAY.

After she became unstressed and relaxed, she started telling me how wonderful I am.  She said, "What on earth would I ever do without you, Joy?"  

And, of course, that melts my heart, and I just want to hug the stuffings out of her -- like everyone else does.

Gotta get.  Hubby wants to watch the 3rd season of Heartland.

Hugs,
Joy





Saturday, June 24, 2017

Lost Episode, Lovely Lunch and Tie Dye w/Terry

Hey Everyone!

Hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend.  Mine has been so lovely.  Mother has been in a great mood all day today after being very NOT in a good mood the last few days.  We had a great rain this morning that settled the dust, and Jerry is over mowing the knee-high grass on the pond dam.  A nasty job, but it has to be done.

The craziest thing happened with my Mom!

So funny what "sticks" in the memory of a person with Dementia.

About three days ago, Mom was watching Mash all day long as she always did.  I went in about 5:30 to get her to come to dinner.  That in itself was odd, because she is usually in the kitchen setting the table and asking "what's for dinner" questions that time of evening.

I found her standing in front of her TV with the remote in her hand.  She was stuck somewhere between TV and Recordings trying to find a certain episode of Mash.  I asked her what she was doing.  She said she was really mad at the television because it would NOT show her the "To Be Continued" episode on Mash.

I asked her what the name of the episode was.  She said, "To Be Continued!"

She decided to turn the TV off and come to dinner with me.

As we were walking down the hall she explained that she had been watching the episode of Mash where the boy went to jail, but he was supposed to get out of jail.  She said that someone brought some paper to the jail but it was the carbon copy, and they had to bring a different paper.  THEN, it said "To Be Continued."  She said she waited through all of the sports to see the rest of the story, but it never came on.  (I think "sports" is the commercials.)

So guess what she did?!  I can't believe it and neither can Jerry.

She told us that night at dinner that she was very mad at the people who make Mash, and she was NEVER watching it again.

Since that night, she has not had Mash on AT ALL.  All she watches now is TBN and Daystar.

How is it possible that she remembers she is mad at Mash and what the episode was about?????

Anyway, she seems to be very happy as things are at the moment, and that is all that matters.

I hope Wanda doesn't mind, but I have to show you a few pics I snapped at her luncheon yesterday. This lady is an awesome maker of salads!  She had four different ones for us to enjoy.  She made a secret dressing she said she "just threw together".  I told her she should bottle it and sell it.  It was WONDERFUL!

Wanda loves to decorate her table.  Terry says she changes it a lot even if nobody is coming over.  I think if I had dishes and linens as cute as hers, I would do that too.


Isn't her table gorgeous with the flowers and the fancy jeweled egg centerpiece.  Our very own Terry covered those chairs for her.  Check out the GOLD silverware.  First time EVER I ate with gold silverware.  LOL!  Can you even call it "Silver" ware???

Here's a pic of Terry and her sweet, pretty Mother-in-Law.  Three more salads on the bar, and all the yummiest!  One had nectarines and chicken in it.

Lunch was just perfect and so was the company.  Terry's SIL was there too, but I somehow missed getting a photo of her.  I think she may be a bit camera shy.

Today, I went over to Terry's for Tie Dye Lessons.  I wish I had taken a picture of the darling French Braid quilt Terry is making with the tie dye fabric she has already made.  It is luscious -- like ice cream and sunshine and icees.  I would NEVER have thought of making a quilt out of tie dye fabric. I'll show it to you when she gets it all done.  You will be surprised!

As for MY project.  It is resting inside a plastic bag until four hours is up.  Then I am to rinse it out and wash it.  I'm pretty sure mine is the MOST BORING tie dye fabric ever made, but I'll show it to you when it is done.  As much work as Terry did, I'm not sure it will be a new hobby of mine.  So messy.  When I was leaving, I noticed two streaks of yellow dye on Terry's cheek.  She may have her first tattoo!

Speaking of that, four hours is up in two minutes.  Gotta get.

Be back soon.

Hugs, Joy

Monday, June 19, 2017

My Variegated Spools and Life

Hello everyone!

I just did a VLOG yesterday with my FINISHED Variegated Spools quilt in it.  If you don't want to listen to me blab, just forward near the end and you can see my finished quilt top.  I am real excited to have it done, and I must thank wonderful Edyta Sitar for her Silhouettes for that.

If you don't know what they are, go to laundrybasketquilts.com.  Go to her shop or store or whatever she calls it, and look for the Silhouettes.  They are WON-DER-FUL, I promise you.  Worth every penny.  You just pull the paper off the back -- put them where you want them -- and iron them down permanently.  Saves hours of tracing and cutting.

So here is the VLOG if you care to see it:

The VLOG I made the day before has been frozen because one of my darling readers all the way over in Germany pointed out that my address was in plain sight on my refrigerator.  So glad Katrina noticed that.  I imagine if someone wanted to pay a small fee, they could find out where I live, but no sense showing it to the whole world.

My life is quite "variegated" these days.  Half the time, I don't even know what I'm going to be doing from one day to the next.  Not boring, at least.

Tomorrow, I am having my hair dyed in my kitchen by the new stylist who was supposed to work in a salon.  I've been to the salon twice.  Suddenly, she doesn't work there anymore, and you either have to go to her house or have her come to yours.  I really don't like that since my house is NOT a salon and doesn't have the proper sink and equipment.  Thank God, Princess Di left a lot of things here from when she used to come.  Di doesn't do hair anymore, and she was doing that for me as my good friend.  This lady is in business.  I want her to be in a salon I can go to.  Let the salon have the mess.

Also, I found out via Facebook that this girl has two pit bulls at home.  I will NOT be going to her house EVER!

I now have COMPLETE RECALL of why I quit going to salons to have my hair done over 40 years ago.  If I ever liked someone, they ALWAYS quit or moved away.
Friday, I'm doing something so nice.  I can't even believe it is actually happening.

Terry's Mother-in-Law, Wanda, has invited Terry and me to come to lunch at her house.  Wanda is a super neat and organized person.  I was at her house for a few minutes once with Terry, and was delighted by how pretty everything was.  Not only that, she had her dining room table completely set as though she were expecting important company any moment.  Pretty dishes with all the utensils and linens were on the table, but NOBODY was coming.  Terry told me she just likes to have her table decorated, and she changes it all the time.  So I am excited to be invited to her house and have lunch on her pretty dishes.  Terry's SIL lives there too.  I am really looking forward to it.

Jerry was in Oklahoma City today to deliver my two trade-in sewing machines to Bernina.  I gave them the two I bought on Ebay as I paid a whole lot less for those used.  I wasn't about to give them the machines I paid full price for.  That just doesn't make sense to me.  Pay $2600.00 for a machine and give it to Bernina for $400?  I don't think so!

My Mother has been complaining of a back ache for weeks now.  I think it originated from her lifting a heavy wooden foot stool and moving it across her room at the other house.  She had her sitter get me on the phone today -- while I was buying groceries at Walmart -- to demand that I take her to a Chiropractor.  I really didn't want to do that, of course, knowing she could turn into the not-so-nice personality at any moment -- especially, if there are any people or kids around.  I reminded her on the phone that she used to do a certain exercise for her back pain.  She asked me to describe it, so I did.  By the time I got home tonight, she had done the exercise and the pain was all gone!  Praise God!  Best to keep Mom at home at all times.

Jerry has been working for months getting paperwork filled out in order for my Mother to claim her VA benefits for having to have round-the-clock care.  Jerry went to the VA office today in OKC.  The man that he gave the paperwork to was shocked at how thorough it was.  He immediately faxed it to whatever office it was supposed to go to from his.  HOORAY Jerry!  He isn't great with Mom's personal care, but he sure is great with getting other chores done that she requires.  He has a hard time accepting the fact that she really CANNOT REMEMBER things.  He thinks she is just acting in order to get attention.  And that actually is true to a certain extent.

For instance, she will walk into my bedroom in the morning and order me to fix her shake.  She will walk to the table, hang up her walking stick on the chair next to hers, and sit up straight and talk normally.

As soon as the aide, Christy, arrives, Mom suddenly gets very weak.  When Christy helps her up from the kitchen table to go to her room, Mom takes itty bitty steps not lifting her feet off the floor, and  she makes Christy hold her elbow on one side as she uses the cane on the other side.  Before I "lost" the walker, she used to make Christy get the walker before she could go down the hall.   She whines and murmurs so you can hardly understand her.  Christy knows it too.  She said she has seen Mom walking all over her room with no assistance at all.  She sees Christy, and the show resumes.  I guess Mom figures she should get her money's worth, lol.
In Mom's defense, she can get around easily when there is furniture or a bed close by for her to lean on or hold onto.  It is walking in wide open spaces that cause her to fear falling.  Since she has fallen so many times in the past, I certainly can understand her need for stability; and truly, I am thankful that she does take precautions.

I think it is time to snap a still photo of my quilt, and start practicing quilt designs on it.  I think I will probably echo all the appliques.  We shall see.

Stay tuned.

Hugs, Joy











Sunday, June 4, 2017

Variegated Spools, Lost Sheets and Lost Coins

Hi Everyone!

Watched Cornerstone on my computer this morning while Mom watched TBN in her room.  Fixed lunch for us, did some laundry and worked on my new quilt.  Mom watched more TBN.  Later, we went outside for a walk and to sit on the patio.  She sits on the glider and I, of course, swing.
 

I have been sitting on my electric bed since finishing the dinner dishes trying to find SOMETHING to watch on the internet, when it dawned on my lighting fast mind that I have a BLOG, and I can talk to all of you here.

Let me run upstairs -- I sure need the exercise -- and snap a quick pic of the Variegated Spools.  Hold on ..........

I did a video yesterday -- or was it the day before -- talking about my new quilt.  Here it is if you haven't seen it.  You can watch it while I go get the picture for you.

Okay.  Here is what I have done as of this very minute on the V-Spools:

I am so glad I took this picture.  I see I have two yellows together.  I spent over an hour "shuffling" these spools so the colors wouldn't be together.  There are eight different color combos. The first two rows are already sewn, but I can still move the rest around.

The borders and appliques really make this quilt.  I am anxious to get to that part.

My Mom is so funny tonight!  Her bedroom is all the way down the hall from mine.  She keeps walking up and down the hall looking for me, and she is walking WITHOUT her cane.  We have put the walker away in another room as she is not using it at all.    

She came in awhile ago and told me she needed me right away.  She said she could NOT find where her new sheets were.  I told her they where in her bathroom in the linen closet.  She said she looked EVERYWHERE, and they weren't there.  I followed her back to her room and into the bath and opened the linen closet doors to show her the new lavender sheets.  She was very happy.  Then she walked out into her bedroom with me, and I started to leave.   

She said, "WHERE are you going?"

"I'm going to my room, Mom."

"And WHAT are you going to do when you get there?"   She was right in front of me, face to face, and she broke into the cutest smile  -- like she had just said something funny.

I swear, if it wasn't for her mixed-up brain, she is in really good shape.  She actually ran a little ways down the hall after me yesterday.  I go to sleep at 9:30.  She goes to sleep at 10:30 or 11.  

Mom has ALWAYS been a fanatic about the laundry.  She loves to fold clothes.  She wanders down the hall many times a day into the laundry room to see if there is anything washing or drying.  Late this afternoon she opened the dryer to see what was going around in it.  She found a very CLEAN quarter and dime that had fallen out of Jerry's jeans that were still going around inside the dryer.  She came to find me to ask me what to do with the 35 cents.  I told her to just put it on the bar in the kitchen.  

Later, when I was fixing dinner, she told me that she had LOST 35 cents and asked if I had seen it.  I told her she didn't have 35 cents.  She said she DID have 35 cents and it was in HER pants.  She asked if she could go look in the dryer for it.  I told her that Jerry's pants were in the dryer -- not hers. 

It is several hours later now and she just came down the hall again.  She wants to know if I have seen some BRAND NEW change that was in her pants.  It was 35 cents and was very shiny.  (-;

If she asks me again, I'll just go get it out of my purse and give it to her.  So cute!

Nothing else to tell you tonight.  All is well in my world, and I hope you can say the same about yours!  

Until next time, enjoy each brand new day.

Hugs, Joy

Thursday, May 25, 2017

I Have GOOD News!

Hey Everybody!!!

Jerry came over to me as I was finishing the dinner dishes and said, "Honey, would you mind if I go down to the pond to fish for awhile?"

He knows I can't leave Mom and go with him, so it was really sweet of him to ask me if he could go.

So Jerry is fishing, and Mom is in her bedroom brushing her teeth and changing into her pajamas.  She does that every night right after eating her bowl of ice cream.  It takes her a long time to do it, but I let her do it alone because it causes her brain to work.  After while, she will come down the hall with a bag of trash from the several little trash cans in her bed and bath.  She empties them every night!  Again, something to work her brain.

I received a very surprising phone call as I was fixing dinner tonight.  It was from the realtor trying to sell my Mom's double-wide mobile home and the land it is on.

I noticed it was her calling and thought, "Oh, no!  WHAT broke now?"

Actually, something WAS broken.  Water was leaking around the bottom of the toilet in the Master Bathroom.  Fortunately, the realtor knows EVERYBODY in that part of the country, and she called a plumber to come right out to fix it.  Haven't heard yet if he showed up and how much it will cost.  Hope it is minor.

But, that wasn't all.  She told me that a young couple had just made an offer on the place.  It was less than we were asking, but we expected that.  I was THRILLED!  That is a huge headache off my plate, and I am very thankful.

AND, the buyers are paying C A S H !   They have a very nice Grandpa.

My Mother is doing really good.  The Hospice company we are using has a doctor that comes to the house.  We had never seen her until yesterday.  It was quite entertaining.  Mom was in a fun mood.  She asked the doctor if she had gone to school.  The doctor assured her she had.  Jerry walked into the kitchen, and Mom said, "That is my son-in-law.  He deals drugs."  The doctor looked surprised at that bit of news.  Thank God I was right there to explain that Jerry is a Pharmacist!

I asked Mom later if she liked the lady doctor who came.  She said she would PREFER a man!

I sew every chance I get.  I've made six new tops recently.  You have seen the patterns before.  Haven't started a new quilt yet because I need a background fabric.  I love the Edyta Sitar batiks, but they are as RARE as Hen's teeth!
I'm, obviously, not the only one that loves her style.  I was finally able to find a few yards of her winter white on Ebay.

My stomach is starting to look a lot like that chicken's!  I'm headed upstairs to get on the Elliptical and trampoline.

Have a great holiday weekend my friends!

Hugs, Joy







Friday, May 5, 2017

Fun Play Day with Terry but Disappointing Too

We had a lovely day.

Terry and I are just EASY together.

You know what I mean?

I don't have to SORT OUT everything that goes through my mind that I want to say to her and make sure she isn't going to be offended by it.  She feels the same way about me.  THAT is what a true friendship should be like in my book.

AND, if I do get upset with her, or she gets upset with me, we just GET OVER IT!  We don't throw away a beautiful friendship because one of us messed up.  We get mad -- we cry -- but then we run into each others arms and say, "I'm so sorry!"  

Terry and I were talking about all of this today, and we agree.  Some "friends" are just impossible to please, and they seem to be waiting to take offense at something you say or do.  We both decided we don't need complicated friendships that make us uneasy and make us feel bad about ourselves.

My friends must realize that if they are looking for perfection in me, they are looking in the WRONG place!

Only Jesus is perfect!

And you are thinking, "WHAT ON EARTH is she talking about!!!?"

Someone I love very much is furious with me because I said something he/she did was stupid, and I STILL believe that what the person did was stupid.  The definition of "stupid" being:  Insensitive -- Silly -- Foolish.  I will not be changing my mind on that!

Is anybody out there MARRIED?!

Do you and your mate ALWAYS AGREE on every little thing?

I promise you my husband and I sure do not.  He hurts my feelings terribly sometimes.  I hurt his.  I can tell him something he did was stupid, but he doesn't fall apart and act like I'm a horrible person. He tells me all the time that something I did is ridiculous.  I just tell him he is wrong, or crazy, or stupid or whatever.  We argue.  We laugh.  We hug and kiss and forget all about it. We have been married 42 years, and I love him more than ever!

MY POINT IS, marriages and friendships should have firm enough foundations that arguments and disagreements don't dissolve them.  We MUST let off steam, or we will burst!  At least, I will.

Let's get back on HAPPY STREET again here!  Did you see my latest VLOG about my Mom and the Beauty Shop and Mother's Day?  If not, here it is:


Now, about our PLAY DAY:

We went to what we THOUGHT was going to be a "Grand Opening" at the new quilt shop in McKinney, TX called "Happiness is Quilting".  We were thinking giveaways, discounts, finger foods, etc. as it just opened for business yesterday.

NONE OF THE ABOVE!

Fabric was $12 to $15 a yard.  Terry and I headed straight for the sale rack way in the back.  She got some nice fabrics for a baby quilt she has been asked to make.  I bought fabrics to make more blouses for my Mom and myself.  I saw a book I wanted, but it was $30.  I can get it from Amazon for $19.

Sure hope that quilt shop doesn't go out of business next.  We decided to go from there to JoAnn's where the prices were much better and we could find pretty knit fabrics.

We went to several other places including Belk's where we both bought several pair of pretty-colored pants.  I think we got the same ones actually.

Gotta go.  TV time, and I need to find something to watch that Jerry can stay awake to.  He is asleep next to me, but if you woke him, he would tell you he is watching TV.  He must have transparent eyelids!

Hugs,
Joy

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Flash Cards and Pretty Hair Again

Hello my friends!  I pray you are all well and having a lovely week.  I heard there are terrible floods somewhere, but not sure where.  Please be safe and God bless you who may be enduring them.

This was a good day.  I'm still sad over recent events in my "beyond Mother" life, but I can only thank God every day that Mom is doing so well.  I have to let go what I can let go of -- especially, those things I have no control over.

I am very excited to have found a lady to do Mom's hair here in our tiny town.  It had to be JUST THE RIGHT lady.

My Mom is very demanding and not just anyone can deal with her.  I wanted a small place with one person.  The fewer people, the less confused Mom will get.  The beautician is older -- maybe my age.  I think Mom will be very relaxed with her as she tells her she doesn't know what she is doing, and she is doing it all wrong.

Mom insisted on a manicure and pedicure also, but this lady does not do those.  I may have to do them myself while Mom is getting her perm!



I wanted to tell you about my idea to help Mom remember that is working very well.

As you know, Dementia patients can't remember anything short-term.  Mom is on hospice, so there are several people who come by through the week to visit her.

There are also two ladies who "babysit" her for me so I can go to work.

Every morning and night Mom asks me over and over and over who is coming the next day.  She will walk down the hall to our bedroom late at night and stand in our doorway.  I will ask her what she needs.  She will say, "I HAVE to know something!  WHO is coming tomorrow to see me???"

A few weeks ago, I decided to make some "flash cards" for her.  I think I told you before.  I used 4x6 cards, and wrote with thick sharpies one name to a card.  Then I would hand her the names that would be coming on a certain day.

THEN, Mom started saying, "But I don't know what she looks like."

So I asked each lady if I could take her picture.  I now have new flash cards with names AND pictures so Mom will know who is coming and what they look like.  I put the cards on the kitchen table where she eats breakfast every morning; but yesterday, she decided she has to take the cards WITH HER and have them at all times so she can refer to them.  It is so cute.

A former neighbor and very good friend of hers calls occasionally.  His name is Fred.  He called earlier this evening.  He asked if he could talk to her.  I told him I didn't know if she would remember him.  She was right there near me, so I asked her if she remembered "Fred".  She said, "NO!  I don't KNOW that man!"

I told Fred I would hand her my phone, and maybe his voice would "ring a bell".  They talked for several minutes, and she remembered that he lived next door to her, and she asked him about her house that is now for sale.  Right after he hung up, of course, she wanted to know who he was.

Oh, almost forgot:  Friday is going to be a PLAY DAY for Terry and me.  A new quilt shop is having a Grand Opening in McKinney, TX, and we are going to check it out.  Terry is making a quilt for my Mom because my Mom TOOK the quilt Terry made for me that I keep in Edmond.  I don't need a thing, but I'm sure SOMETHING will jump into my arms while I am there.  I will let you know how it goes.

And THANK YOU to Lorinda who left me the link to the Dementia video and her blog about her Dad.  He saw INVISIBLE horses.  It was a wonderful blogpost.  Here is the link if you would like to see it:
 http://sew-i-do.blogspot.com/search?q=Dementia

TV time.  Jerry was gone all last week, and I am so happy to have him back home.  He helps me a lot with Mom if just to have eyes on the hallway while I take a shower or am upstairs.  He always fixes her TV when she presses all the wrong buttons on the control.

Hugs,
Joy






Friday, April 28, 2017

My Climbing Mother

Hello Everyone!

I wanted to do a new video today, but something happened that made me sad, and I couldn't get the mood back again.

And you KNOW my lightning fast mind.  I just now realized that if I type what I want to say, you can't tell my face is sad today -- except that I always tell you everything anyway!

I'd love to join this little lady in her pity party, but I don't want to WEAR the wine tomorrow.

And besides that, ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THOSE THAT LOVE THE LORD, so it is just a matter of time before my face fits my name again.

I heard the BEST sermon by Joel Osteen last week.  It was about NOT GIVING YOUR JOY AWAY.  Soooooo good!

I really love the way that man thinks.  He said it is bad enough that someone hurts you, or you get stuck in a traffic jam, or you get fired, or, or, or --  but don't give them your joy too.  The Bible says the JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGTH.  Give me a second, and I'll tell you where it is in the Bible.  (Nehemiah 8:10)  Right now, more than ever, I need all the STRENGTH I can muster.

For my friends that have experience with the elderly and dementia, I would love to hear your opinion on the following issue I am having with my Mom.

My Mom has lived alone for the past 20 years in a double-wide trailer on a little lake about 3 hours away from where we live.  She had white pull-down shades on all of her windows.  Every evening she would go through her whole house and pull all of those blinds completely down.  She would check all the doors and make sure they were locked.

Mom now lives in our house, as you know.  Most of my windows have mini blinds in them, but there is one window over my sink in the kitchen that has an accordion blind that pulls up and down with one long cord.  Hold on.  A picture is worth a thousand words.

In the following pic, NOTICE THE LONG CORD laying inside the windowsill.  Notice the shade is pulled all the way up to the top of the window.
The next picture shows the bar stool she drags over to the sink to CLIMB UP ON!
Notice the faucet.
This last picture shows the blind when it is properly closed.
NOTICE the faucet.
Mom grabs onto the faucet to hold herself, and -- of course -- it pulls out of the fixture, and she falls.
Mom has hurt her leg twice doing this.  There was a large bump and bruise on the front of her lower leg both times.  The last one is still healing.

Today, instead of pulling that bar stool over to the sink, she pulled one of the kitchen table chairs over to the sink.  HOW ON EARTH she even did that is a wonder as she uses a walker or cane at all times, and she drops things all the time.

When I went downstairs to fix dinner, I noticed right away that the faucet was hanging down like that, and the blind was crooked and only 3/4 of the way down, and the vases were moved in the wrong place.  I didn't say anything right then because I had just left her room, and she was fine.  I dreaded the confrontation.

Later, when we were eating dinner, Mom told me she had moved the chair over to the sink and fixed the blinds.  I said, "OH, MOM!  You didn't climb up on that chair, did you?"  She said she did.

So, of course, I had to have a long talk with her about it.

At first, she was combative, and she had the saddest look on her face.  Just like a child in trouble!

Later, after our long talk, she finally agreed that I was right.  She said, "Something told me not to do it, but I did it anyway."   She told me over and over that she was very sorry.

The thing is.  SHE FORGETS!  What about tomorrow -- and the next day -- and the next day.  I don't want to put gates up between the rooms and lock her out of them.

I don't want to lock her in her room.

I pray God assigns extra angels to my Mom to protect her from her broken brain.

Other than that, all is well.  Jerry has been gone all week, but will be back tomorrow afternoon.  He hardly ever goes upstairs, so he usually notices when Mom goes on one of her "walks" to close blinds and doors.  It really helps to have an extra set of eyes and ears on her.

Trust all is well where you are tonight.  I'll be back soon with our Mother/Daughter blouses.

Hugs, Joy

Sunday, April 23, 2017

The Problem with Communication is Words!

Yes!

It is SO TRUE.

The problem with communcation is words.

I beg whoever is reading this post to please listen to John Hagee's sermon "Conscience and Communication" from this morning 4-23-17.  It is one of the VERY BEST sermons I have ever heard, and as he said in the introduction, I will NEVER forget it!

He talks about how Satan spoke to Jesus using scripture, BUT he twisted it to have a different meaning that it was meant to.

Satan does this between friends and between husbands and wives all the time.

Something is said, but the person spoken to HEARS it differently than it was intended, and the war begins!


Friendships are shattered.

Marriages are over.

Please listen to the sermon.  I promise, you will laugh out loud, but also learn so much.

At the end, Hagee talked about the POWER OF PRAISE.  "Praise is a weapon of supernatural warfare!"  If our nation ever needed supernatural intervention from God, IT IS NOW!

Just go to GETV.org and look in the archives for the sermon.  OR, if it is still Sunday morning on 4-23-17, you can go to the next service at 11:00 AM CST.

Now, if someone will REMIND me that my Mom doesn't know what she is doing or saying at times, I MIGHT get over her attack this morning and go help her dress.

I woke Mom up an hour before church today so we all could eat breakfast and then be lined up on the front row upstairs in front of the big screen when church started at 8:30.  It is a live service, and it always starts with singing.  I love the music at Cornerstone Church, and I know the words, so I always sing out loud.  Jerry does sometimes, but not very loud.  I do everything loud!

Anyway, Mom slept through most of the music.

She woke up about the time the sermon started.  She loves John Hagee.  Anyway, John started out by telling some funny stories/jokes at the beginning.  I was cracking up laughing at him, as was the audience.

Mother looked over at me from her recliner to mine and SNARLED:  "Will you PLEASE shut up that cackling!  I can't hear what he is saying!"

I hadn't heard the sermon yet -- that is my excuse -- and I looked over at her and told her to quit being a witch.  She snarled something else at me, but I just ignored her, and I have been ignoring her ever since.

The best way for me to get her OUT of that personality is to stop doing things for her.  She realizes SOMETHING is wrong and asks me about it.  THEN I can explain, and she always apologizes.

The thing is, when Mom watches MASH or sermons, she doesn't GET the humor.  She gets mad if Jerry or I laugh when MASH is on.  She tells us it is about soldiers, and we should not be laughing.  Jerry tells her it is a comedy, and she just looks at him like he is nuts.  Hence the attack during the sermon this morning.  She didn't like me laughing at it.

I guess I'll go downstairs and be "the spiritual one".  (Listen to the sermon.  (-; )

I'm going to start a new quilt.  Stay tuned for updates.

God bless you all and may your Spirits get fat!  (Listen to the sermon. (-: )

Hugs, Joy




Wednesday, April 12, 2017

It's a Wonderful Life!

Hello Everybody!

This has been a happy and crazy day with a very frustrating end!

It is such a hassle when you have to buy new stuff, don't you think.  In this instance, it is two TV's. Seems harmless enough, but wait!

JUST because the TV you buy your Mom is new doesn't mean it is going to have a good picture, and the people aren't going to have yellow hair and green bodies.  Good Heavens!  My mother's brain is mixed up enough already!

JUST because you find out that your own big screen TV is suddenly broken and doesn't work and is considered a dinosaur doesn't mean you can just go buy another one and a cabinet to place it on.

Well, you can BUY the cabinet, but you can't expect someone to deliver it to you, unless, of course, the young lady behind the check out counter really does know someone who knows someone who MIGHT be able to deliver the cabinet to you -- IF you call her FIVE times the next day to see if she found said person.

JUST because two hulks show up at the door to deliver the new big screen TV, doesn't mean that when they carry out your old TV that they won't drop it on your front porch and break one of the bricks in half leaving a sharp cutting edge sticking out and half the brick lying on the ground.

And JUST because you call the store where you bought it and tell Customer Service that your front porch is now broken and you want it fixed that the person is REALLY going to tell the Manager and he/she will call you back.

UGH!!!

That has been our yesterday and today except for Jerry going to the knee doctor who told him it takes six to eight weeks to recover from the surgery, and I guess his knee still hurts like crazy because it has been only six weeks.  I went to my heart doctor to find out I have a leaky valve and it beats too fast at times, and I am not to take decongestants even though my nose is running like a sieve at this very moment, and, OF COURSE, I am not to drink caffeine.

Other than that, all is perfectly wonderful in my life.

Seriously!  How many millions would not LOVE to have my little inconveniences.

I did have a lovely lunch with Phylly today.  She took a long lunch so she could follow me to JoAnn's Fabrics after lunch.  Both of us were VERY disappointed at the poorly lit, disorganized, jumbled up "mess" of fabric at the JoAnn's, so we went to Hobby Lobby across the street.  It was well lit and the fabric was cheerful and Spring-like, and I found three pieces I could not resist.  Phylly found only one.  We actually both realized we didn't have anyplace to PUT the fabric we were buying, but we didn't care!

My daughter came over this morning and took my Mother home to her house so her Dad and I could go to the doctor today.  I think they left here about 10:00 this morning.

Jerry and I arrived at my daughter's house about 5:30 tonight to pick Mom up.  She already had on her coat and her hat and was standing at the door!  She had been pointing to her watch and asking Tammy WHEN we were coming to get her since 3:00.  Tammy was VERY READY to let her Grandma leave.

My Mom thought Jerry was going to stay at Tammy's, and only she was going to come home with me.  Then when I was seat buckling her into the back seat of my car, I gave her a hug.  She said, "When will I be seeing you again?"  LOL.  I told her in about one second when I got in the front seat.  Sad but so funny.

Better get this head in bed.

Trust all of you are having a wonderful life and a wonderful week.

Hugs, Joy












Friday, April 7, 2017

A Quick Hello and VLOG

My goodness!

My life has changed so much, I barely have time to BLOG these days.  I'm trying to build a new wardrobe for Mom so she will have nice things to wear that are not 20 years old and way too big. Mom quit shopping for clothes many years ago.  She weighs only 117 pounds, so she is little.  She used to be a Size 14 in pants and wore Large tops.  Hence, those are the sizes she still has in her closet.

For those who don't know, my Mom who has Dementia moved in with us on January 1st.  She has done really well most of the time.  Last night and today she seemed much more confused than usual.  I am praying it is a temporary setback.  I hate to see her decline.  It will be hard.

Last night, she got out of bed about 10:30, came down the dark hallway into the kitchen, and she opened the freezer drawer.  By that time I had jumped out of bed and joined her and asked her what she was doing.  She said she had not had any dinner and she needed to make some.

My Mom does NOT cook at all.  It would not be safe!  I do all the cooking.  I had cooked a nice dinner, and she had eaten well, including her Butter Pecan ice cream topped with Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream for dessert.
I explained all that to her and walked her back to her bedroom.

A little while ago Jerry and I were sitting on our bed watching a basketball game.  Mom came into our room as she often does in the evenings.  I asked her what she needed and motioned for her to come sit next to me on the bed.  She told me she was VERY worried!  She said she had looked and looked, and she could not find her Visa card.

I asked her why she needed her Visa card.

She said that she was going to be leaving tomorrow to get her hair done, and she was going to have to have that Visa card to pay the girl.

I explained to her all about how the girl comes HERE to WASH her hair -- not perm it, and that I would take her soon to get a permanent, but I would pay for it.  I told her she didn't need to ever worry about money again.  She asked about her house and WHO was going to clean it up.  I pointed to myself.

She looked at me and said, "So you are going to take care of everything?"

I said, "Yes, Mom, you don't have to worry about anything anymore."

She gave me a huge hug and said she was going to her room.

I asked her if she remembered where her room was.  She said, "Yes, it is right next to yours."

Her room is down the hall at the other end of the house.  Sooooooooooooooo sad.  Breaks my heart.

That is my life now.  Caring for my Mom.  We have a wonderful new lady to help us, so I now have two.  The new lady is a Nurse, and unlike the first lady, she can stay full days for me.  That means I can go to work once or twice a week.  I really need to be there too.  Jerry is home still recovering from knee surgery, so he hasn't been going to work.

Gotta go check on Mom.  I go in several times before bedtime.

Here's my latest VLOG if you haven't already seen it.



Be back when I have something to show you.

Hugs, Joy


Friday, March 24, 2017

VLOG and Update on Mom

Hey Everyone!!!

We have RAIN today!  We are so happy to have it.  Ponds are low.  Lake is low.

I have a new video with my Mom in it if you haven't already seen it.

Here she is posing for me in that new blouse.  She LOVES to be center of attention.  Always has.



Making her new pants now.  Just finished the first pair.  Going to try to make three at a time -- assembly line fashion.  We shall see!

Be back when I can.

Hugs, Joy

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Fabric HEAVEN and Mom and Terry and Stuff

Wow!

Have I been gone for three weeks?  Time goes by so fast these days.  My Mom takes a lot of my attention.  I have time to myself, but not long times.  It takes a lot of time to do a BLOG.

I did get a video done the other day after my wonderful overnight trip with Terry.  We have the best time together.  She is the BEST co-pilot.  Jerry always has a fit if I try to direct him when he is driving.  I think it is a great luxury to have someone guiding you!

Here is the latest video if you missed it:

I just told you in that video that I would show you what I bought, so here goes.

At the little old downtown shop called Happiness is Quilting, I found several panels to make little quilts for the children at Casa House, but I only had time to choose two of them.

This for a boy:
This for a girl:
And this one for me, of course.  It is so fun!
Look at the darling three fabrics I got to go with it.

And I bought some fabrics to make blouses.  My Mother LOVES violets, so I bought some violet fabric for her.  I made the blouse today, but it turned out too snug for her.  It is so hard to peel all the layers off her to try anything on that I just went by measurements.  She is always so cold.

Here are four wovens purchased at several different places.
Two for Mom, and two for me:

And, from JoAnn's, some more knits.
Two for Mom and two for me.
AND, the BEST part of our trip,
our TEXAS-shaped waffles from the Hampton Inn.
I really love waffles, but I don't dare make them here at home because I would BE as big as Texas!  I always have one when staying at a hotel since I only stay in one maybe once a year.

Need to check on Mom.  I think she found the controller and messed up the TV.

Be back as soon as I can to show you Mom's new tops and another video.

Hugs,
Joy

Saturday, February 18, 2017

For Such a Time as This

Hi everyone!  Can you believe I'm back already?

After today, I am convinced that I am the ONLY person on this planet that can properly take care of my Mom.  I have the ability to know what she wants and how she wants it, even when she doesn't even know -- OR, she doesn't know how to say it.  And I am speaking about current events.  God only knows what is to come.

I know what she is TRYING to say when she is saying something so crazy, Jerry (my DH) can't start to figure it out.  He gets very frustrated with her.  And, OF COURSE, I know that no man "gets" a woman, but this is different.

I'll give you a few instances:

This afternoon, Mom sat down at the kitchen table while I was doing dishes or laundry or something.  I heard her fiddling with things on the table and saying, "I've got to find the salt.  Where could it be?  Joy, I NEED to find the salt."

We weren't eating.  She didn't have anything to put the salt on.

I realized when I looked at the table that she had arranged the pepper, the toothpicks and two little wooden angels on top of a trivet in the center of the table, and she wanted the salt shaker to be there too to complete the arrangement.  I walked over and picked up the salt shaker which was on her blind side at the end of the table and handed it to her.

She said, "Oh, thank goodness!  I had to get this arranged right, and I couldn't find the salt."

Jerry NEVER would have understood that.  He would have told her she didn't NEED the salt, and he would have just ignored her.

Then there was tonight.

She was having a pretty bad dose of Sundowner's.  Her mind was off on a dozen tangents.  For some reason, she kept going into the wrong bedroom even though she was already in her bedroom.  I was in my bedroom and couldn't see that she kept leaving her room and going into the one across the hall.  Jerry could hear her from his office.  Jerry went out and closed the door to the WRONG bedroom and told her to go to her OWN room.

In a few minutes, she would come back out of her room and go to the closed door -- open it -- go in and start rearranging things.  Jerry saw her and went back again to return the items she had removed from it and close the door again.  He told her again to PLEASE go to her own room and watch TV.

In a little bit, Mom was out of her room again and going through the closet in the WRONG room. Again Jerry went out to the hall to find out what Mom was doing, and I heard the commotion. I was afraid Jerry was going to strangle her!

I had received a phone call from my friend, Deb, and I was in my room talking to her.  That is why I didn't hear Jerry and Mom having room wars at the other end of the long hallway.  As soon as I hung up, I hurried down the hall to rescue my Mother.  She was TRYING to tell Jerry that she needed "her jacket".  She had taken a garment out of the WRONG room closet, and she was complaining that it wasn't the right one.  Jerry was telling her it wasn't even a jacket, it was a top.  Mother -- being extremely soft spoken and patient -- was trying so hard to explain that she needed her jacket.

I shooed Jerry off to his office which is where he needed to be as he was trying to finish some very important paperwork.  I took Mom buy the arm and led her back into her room.  I knew EXACTLY what she wanted.  She has this little white bed jacket.  It is fuzzy and warm.  She folds it a certain way, and she puts it around her ears and her head every night in her bed.  It had disappeared, and she could not find it in her room.  Hence, she kept going in the other room to look for it.

Mom was saying she just had to have her jacket, and she was very worried it was lost.  I assured her I would find it.  I figured it must be under the covers or under the bed, and that is where it was.  It had fallen behind the headboard which is brass bars.  I reached down through the bars and onto the floor and picked it up.  She was DElighted!!!

I made sure TBN was on and was the right volume and that she had the controller in her hand.  Yes! She actually has learned to push the "off" button when she is done watching TBN.  At least, she could do it last night after 30 minutes of lessons from Jerry.   I gave her a hug and told her I would be back to check on her, AND I closed the door to HER bedroom.  When her door is closed, for some reason, she stays inside it.  Jerry was closing the wrong door.

Poor Jerry.  I try to explain this stuff to him, but he just thinks it is crazy.  He thinks she should KNOW where her OWN room is!  He is much more patient when he isn't tired and in pain from his knee injury, of course.  I get really cranky too at times.  This assignment takes a LOT of patience!

I go check on her every 30 minutes until she goes to sleep, and I'm headed there now.

Be back soon.

Hugs, Joy

Friday, February 17, 2017

Mom-Mergency!

Oh, my!

You all told me to be sure and get in front of her on the stairs, which I do, but you did NOT tell me that while she was SUPPOSED to be in her chair in the living room watching endless MASH episodes, that she would go into the kitchen -- pull a bar stool up to the window -- climb up on it and onto the sink -- and try to pull down the kitchen shade above the sink!

I always come down from upstairs to check on her every so often.  By the time I found her in the kitchen, the bar stool was almost back where she got it from, and she had taken a spaghetti spoon out of the utensil drawer and was grabbing up in the air to try to catch the bottom of the blind and pull it down.  I couldn't believe my eyes!
She turned and looked at me and told me she was SO GLAD I came because she had fallen when she got up onto the sink.

WHAT??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I felt horrible, of course, like I had left my baby in a hot car.


She really has a thing about closing the blinds at night.  She had shades in all the windows of her house, and she pulled them all down every night before dark.  She can't remember that she isn't supposed to do that here.  I have told her a hundred times not to touch the blinds, but she can't remember -- of course.  The only thing that will look in the windows here may be a raccoon or a deer.  We do close the blinds in the bedrooms, however.

Then there is the constant remote control battle.  It is kind of funny.

After turning on the TV, I always HIDE the two remotes under a pillow or a quilt or in another room because Mom just messes everything up when she gets them.  Awhile ago, I put them under a quilt on the couch.  When I came back downstairs to unhide the controls, they were GONE!  I looked around. Mom had put them on the coffee table underneath a napkin.  I had to laugh.

Went to my Mother's house for about the sixth time yesterday.  One of my sisters and her husband joined us.  They were very helpful, and it was a delight to have them there.  Praise God for that!!!
Still so much to do there.  We shall continue to continue until all is done.

Mom is doing really good except for her mind.  She is sleeping at night instead of in the daytime, and she feels good.  Nothing hurts.  We took her off the nasty pills that made her much worse.  Jerry has surgery on his knee on Monday.  Never a dull moment.

Time to fix supper.

Be back soon.

Hugs, Joy



Tuesday, February 7, 2017

My Mother's World

Every day seems to present a new scenario when taking care of a parent with Dementia.

Today started out really good with what I thought was an honest, loving conversation with a family member about my Mom.  Turned out to be a hurricane of nasty words directed at me and at Jerry.  It really hurt and it was supposed to, of course.

Usually, I can dismiss the callousness of some people and enjoy the fact they aren't in my life, BUT since my Mother is on hospice and may not have long to live, I am trying to make allowances.  I will not, however, be cursed at and called names over portions of an estate that doesn't even exist yet.  My Mother is still very much alive and her belongings are HERS.  Such dysfunction!  

As my sweet friend, Princess Di, reminded me:  Leopards don't change their spots!  I was a fool to believe things had changed.

My focus right now is my Mother.  She is so fragile.  She sways back and forth from reality to numbness and the inability to even realize what room she is in.

Sometimes, she looks at me with so much love, it melts my heart like butter; and I feel I will completely cave in if she really does die.

Other times, she is so mad and harsh and impossible that I pray she doesn't last much longer.

Sometimes I look into her eyes and she isn't even there.  That is when the tears just boil out of my eyes.

This experience is overwhelming, but I thank God every minute that He has trusted me with the responsibility of caring for her.

Mom is awake so much during the night, she wants to sleep all day.  It was 75 degrees out today and beautiful.  I told Mom we needed to go somewhere so she could WAKE UP.  I took her to town where we picked up Jerry from our store.  Then we drove across the street to Sonic for chicken sandwiches. Mom was in the back seat.  Jerry and I were in the front.  Mom's hands don't always work right, and after she had eaten about half of her sandwich, the innards all fell out into her lap.  She was so upset with herself.  I had put a towel in her lap -- just in case -- so it was fine.  I felt so sorry for her though because she realizes her body isn't working right.

Last night, for the first time, she started hollering "Mamma, Maaama, Maaaaama!"  Over and over. (Always before she has hollered my name over and over.)  I got out of bed and rushed down the hall as fast as I could.  She was asleep and still hollering.  I finally woke her up.  She said she hadn't been saying anything.

Again, an hour later, she started hollering "Bo, Bo, Boooooo!"  I got up and rushed down the hall again.  This time she was naked from the waist down, and she didn't know why.  Her clothes and socks were strewn about.  Her many blankets were all off of her.  I asked her who "Bo" was.  She said it was me.  I helped her redress, tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead.

She went back to sleep.

I couldn't.

I never leave her alone in the house even for a minute.  Christy will come at 7:30 tomorrow morning to bathe and dress her.  Karen will come at 9:00 and stay with Mom as long as needed so I can go to the grocery store and run some errands.  Jerry is taking off work to come with me because it is a big job.  He has been AMAZING!

Jerry is in a lot of pain due to a torn meniscus in his knee.  Every step he takes hurts him.  And I knoooow!  WHY is he coming to help me buy groceries and run errands?  He insists he can handle the pain and that walking is better than sitting.

He is having surgery on the 20th.  I will have two people to take care of then.  Jerry won't be hard.  I think he has to have rehab and use crutches for awhile.  He will still be able to work.

I am able to sew and quilt some.  Terry is coming over Friday so we can spend some time together. Karen will be here four hours on Friday.  She can stay longer if I need her to.  She loves Mom, and Mom loves her.  That is such a blessing for two people who met only weeks ago.

I made a new blouse for me and a new blouse for my Mom.  Mom actually climbed up the 17 steps two times so she could "be with me" as I was working on them.  She always says, "I want to be with you."  I feel like I am HER Mom.  I'll show you pics of us in our new tops when I feel she is up to posing.

Be back soon.

Hugs, Joy

Friday, February 3, 2017

Dementia is So Cruel

Since you are my friends, and I tell you everything; may I tell you about the cruelty of Dementia?

My Mom lives with us now, and I am so happy to have her here.  Really, I am.  When she isn't having Sundowner Syndrome, and she is almost herself, it is a pleasure to be with her.  Everyone who comes here likes her.  Friends from her past drive a long way to visit her.  They just sit with her for hours even though she can't really communicate with them.

A few nights ago, Jerry and I decided to take her off the nighttime tranquilizer because it makes her as weak as a kitten, and she falls easily.

Sure enough.  Two nights without "the pill" and she can walk without help.  We have been so excited because she has been so "normal" yesterday and today during the day.  Very much stronger in her legs and in her arms.  The last two nights weren't bad either.  The Nurse's Aide noticed and our Mom-sitter noticed Mom was much better.

BUT THEN!

Tonight got here and Sundowners returned with a vengeance.

She loses her temper due to the frustration in her brain.  She grabs things she isn't supposed to have such as the controllers to the TV and bed in our bedroom.  She was supposed to be watching the TV in her room, but she got mixed up between her computer and her TV.  She was pushing the on/off button on the CPU to change the channel on her TV.

She moves furniture around. She takes her clothes off or gets tangled up in them.   She gets very mad and starts swinging if we tell her she can't have something.  She tried to hit me.

It is so, so, so sad.  She doesn't understand, and we feel so mean.  We just had to go get "the pill" and give it to her.  It took two of us to stop her tantrum and get her to take the pill.  I told her we would have to take her to the hospital if she didn't take the pill.  She HATES the hospital, so that worked.

Honestly, I do not know WHAT we would do if we couldn't calm her down.

She asked me if I would come pray that this would go away from her.  Of course, Jerry and I will go in and pray for her.  Hopefully, she will be able to go to sleep.  We are waiting until 10:00 because she thinks she can't go to bed before then.

I guess I should explain that she WANTS to be in her own room watching her own TV.  Jerry always watches Thunder basketball, and she isn't at all interested in that or anything else we watch.  She only watches MASH or TBN.  We have to take the TV controller out of her room because she insists on pushing the buttons on it, and she has no idea what she is doing.  She makes the TV freeze, and she starts hollering for us.

Please pray with us for God to give us wisdom and patience to take care of her.  I pray every day that God takes her home where she will have a brand new mind that she can never get lost in again.

Be back soon.

Hugs, Joy